Commit to the Lord whatever you do, and He will establish your plans. In all your ways acknowledge HIM and He will make your paths straight.
— Proverbs 5:3
— Proverbs 5:3
Memories of My Parents
by Amy E. Madge
November 2012
Like everyone else, John and Lorraine Madge had ups and downs in life. They loved and respected each other for sixty-three years, motivated by the idea that the hard times only made them stronger. Theirs is a simple yet inspiring story, told here by their sixth child, Amy, who faithfully cared for them in the final years of their lives, ultimately helping them cross over to the other side to meet God. Beginning with her parents' childhoods, Amy chronicles John and Lorraine's journeys through life as they grew up and eventually joined their lives in marriage. As they brought seven children into the world and enjoyed all that life had to offer, the couple also endured struggles, including illness and the loss of a child. While sharing applicable Scripture, Amy details their final years on Earth, not only providing an inspirational glimpse into her role as their caregiver, but also into the loneliness that accompanied her personal journey as she grieved the loss of the most important people in the world to her. Memories of My Parents is a faith-filled story of love shared with the hope that compassionate caregivers will always know they are not on this path alone.
by Amy E. Madge
November 2012
Like everyone else, John and Lorraine Madge had ups and downs in life. They loved and respected each other for sixty-three years, motivated by the idea that the hard times only made them stronger. Theirs is a simple yet inspiring story, told here by their sixth child, Amy, who faithfully cared for them in the final years of their lives, ultimately helping them cross over to the other side to meet God. Beginning with her parents' childhoods, Amy chronicles John and Lorraine's journeys through life as they grew up and eventually joined their lives in marriage. As they brought seven children into the world and enjoyed all that life had to offer, the couple also endured struggles, including illness and the loss of a child. While sharing applicable Scripture, Amy details their final years on Earth, not only providing an inspirational glimpse into her role as their caregiver, but also into the loneliness that accompanied her personal journey as she grieved the loss of the most important people in the world to her. Memories of My Parents is a faith-filled story of love shared with the hope that compassionate caregivers will always know they are not on this path alone.
The Sweet Side of Suffering
Recognizing God’s Best When Facing Life’s Worst
M.Esther Lovejoy
Discovery House 2013
This newly published book is full of scriptural truths about the character of God in our suffering. In the introductions she says “Times of suffering can be times of tremendous darkness of soul. It is my prayer that these pages will help poke holes in the darkness and bring God’s light and encouragement to those who are in the midst of the dark night of suffering.” She uses example in her life of various difficulties she has experienced showing us how God’s love has brought light into those times through ways such as His voice, His care, His comfort, His shared suffering, His grace and hope.
Her examples may differ from your experience but the words that she shares help bring out a response that can only come by the help of God. She pulls together stories from throughout the Bible for us to see the way God speaks and can be present in the rough days that come with caregiving. Some days you may not look at your caregiving as suffering but other days may feel like misery. Drawing on the writing of Lovejoy may help you to lean on your heavenly Father in dark times to sweeten the bitterness of life’s struggles.
Review by Sue Brettmann
Recognizing God’s Best When Facing Life’s Worst
M.Esther Lovejoy
Discovery House 2013
This newly published book is full of scriptural truths about the character of God in our suffering. In the introductions she says “Times of suffering can be times of tremendous darkness of soul. It is my prayer that these pages will help poke holes in the darkness and bring God’s light and encouragement to those who are in the midst of the dark night of suffering.” She uses example in her life of various difficulties she has experienced showing us how God’s love has brought light into those times through ways such as His voice, His care, His comfort, His shared suffering, His grace and hope.
Her examples may differ from your experience but the words that she shares help bring out a response that can only come by the help of God. She pulls together stories from throughout the Bible for us to see the way God speaks and can be present in the rough days that come with caregiving. Some days you may not look at your caregiving as suffering but other days may feel like misery. Drawing on the writing of Lovejoy may help you to lean on your heavenly Father in dark times to sweeten the bitterness of life’s struggles.
Review by Sue Brettmann
Take Your Oxygen First
by Leeza Gibbons, James Huysman and Rosemary DeAngelis Laird
2009 Lachance Publishing
New York
Leeza Gibbons of Entertainment Tonight shares her experience as a caregiver for her mother. She shares this work with very qualified coauthors to encourage, educate and empower the reader to get a handle in the difficult journey of caregiving for a parent who is experiencing a memory loss disorder.
Readers are encouraged as the title states to take care of themselves first and prepare for a marathon rather than a sprint. Since memory loss is the challenge of her mother, this book goes into a detailed explanation of the various aspects of degenerative memory loss and where to find help.
Caring for the caregiver is divided into three sections.
Caring for the Body covers the special strengthening exercises caregivers might need in caring for their loved one. The back, neck and shoulder muscles may be required in transferring, lifting and other physical maneuvers. These exercises are important to help prevent injury to the caregiver.
Eating well, with a good nutritional plan, is critical for the stamina required in caregiving. We have all heard good nutritional advice, this book provides reasons caregivers should pay attention.
Brain fitness and sleep are critical for the stress placed upon the caregiver. Advice is given on keeping the brain sharp, relaxing the brain and finding the sleep to recharge. Special attention is paid to insomnia, its cause and suggested helps.
Caring for the mind focuses on depression and anxiety. The reader learns the signs of depression and anxiety and ways to available to treat the symptoms. Suggestions are made for lifestyle changes and stress management techniques.
The challenge of overcoming denial and guilt so that our attention can be placed on the loved one is addressed.
Anger is another feeling that must be managed. Helpful suggestion on working through anger are given.
Finally, Caring for the Caregiver’s spirit completes the focus of the book. The family is very important to Leeza. Her encouragement to collect memories and save them in journals, scrapbooks, telling and writing stories that should not be forgotten are helpful, not only to the caregiver, but for those not as close to direct caregiving. She supports connecting with the readers spiritual roots to provide meaning for the caregiver’s life. It is the spiritual life that helps us accept the pain of loosing a loved one and finding new meanings in life. Finding those new meanings are called the payoff.
by Leeza Gibbons, James Huysman and Rosemary DeAngelis Laird
2009 Lachance Publishing
New York
Leeza Gibbons of Entertainment Tonight shares her experience as a caregiver for her mother. She shares this work with very qualified coauthors to encourage, educate and empower the reader to get a handle in the difficult journey of caregiving for a parent who is experiencing a memory loss disorder.
Readers are encouraged as the title states to take care of themselves first and prepare for a marathon rather than a sprint. Since memory loss is the challenge of her mother, this book goes into a detailed explanation of the various aspects of degenerative memory loss and where to find help.
Caring for the caregiver is divided into three sections.
Caring for the Body covers the special strengthening exercises caregivers might need in caring for their loved one. The back, neck and shoulder muscles may be required in transferring, lifting and other physical maneuvers. These exercises are important to help prevent injury to the caregiver.
Eating well, with a good nutritional plan, is critical for the stamina required in caregiving. We have all heard good nutritional advice, this book provides reasons caregivers should pay attention.
Brain fitness and sleep are critical for the stress placed upon the caregiver. Advice is given on keeping the brain sharp, relaxing the brain and finding the sleep to recharge. Special attention is paid to insomnia, its cause and suggested helps.
Caring for the mind focuses on depression and anxiety. The reader learns the signs of depression and anxiety and ways to available to treat the symptoms. Suggestions are made for lifestyle changes and stress management techniques.
The challenge of overcoming denial and guilt so that our attention can be placed on the loved one is addressed.
Anger is another feeling that must be managed. Helpful suggestion on working through anger are given.
Finally, Caring for the Caregiver’s spirit completes the focus of the book. The family is very important to Leeza. Her encouragement to collect memories and save them in journals, scrapbooks, telling and writing stories that should not be forgotten are helpful, not only to the caregiver, but for those not as close to direct caregiving. She supports connecting with the readers spiritual roots to provide meaning for the caregiver’s life. It is the spiritual life that helps us accept the pain of loosing a loved one and finding new meanings in life. Finding those new meanings are called the payoff.
Jesus Calling
Sarah Young
2004 Thomas Nelson
What a wonderful devotional book inspired by an older book called God Calling edited by A.J. Russell and published by the Berkley Publishing Group in 1978. God Calling was given to me in 1973 by Sharon Patton writting to me in the cover, “the simple love in serving God in these passages have helped guide my daily path.” Thanks Sharon for your gift years ago.
Now those words are made anew in Sarah Young’s book that I highly recommend for the Christian caregiver. The medications are short and personal. Written as if god had a special word to us for the day. Karen, my wife, and I read these daily among other devotional books. Each meditation references scripture to be read with the devotion and we read them. Many we know and have memorized. The scriptures are made new in the context of Sarah’s meditation. I have referred to one of them in a previous blog.
It is important to start the day with the Word and Sarah make the Word accessible. The thoughts are not complicated theological expositions. They are directive from the one who is our source and strength to get through the day.
The book is not expensive. It is nicely bound with a cloth book marker to keep place in the book. Each day has its own devotion and can be used year after year. The reader will not grow tired of this devotional book. The message is always just what is needed for the caregiver, just what Jesus would say to you directly.
Sarah Young
2004 Thomas Nelson
What a wonderful devotional book inspired by an older book called God Calling edited by A.J. Russell and published by the Berkley Publishing Group in 1978. God Calling was given to me in 1973 by Sharon Patton writting to me in the cover, “the simple love in serving God in these passages have helped guide my daily path.” Thanks Sharon for your gift years ago.
Now those words are made anew in Sarah Young’s book that I highly recommend for the Christian caregiver. The medications are short and personal. Written as if god had a special word to us for the day. Karen, my wife, and I read these daily among other devotional books. Each meditation references scripture to be read with the devotion and we read them. Many we know and have memorized. The scriptures are made new in the context of Sarah’s meditation. I have referred to one of them in a previous blog.
It is important to start the day with the Word and Sarah make the Word accessible. The thoughts are not complicated theological expositions. They are directive from the one who is our source and strength to get through the day.
The book is not expensive. It is nicely bound with a cloth book marker to keep place in the book. Each day has its own devotion and can be used year after year. The reader will not grow tired of this devotional book. The message is always just what is needed for the caregiver, just what Jesus would say to you directly.
Letters From the Land of Cancer
by Walter Wangerin, Jr
2010 Zondervan
Grand Rapids, Mi.
On December 26, 2005 Professor and Pastor Wangerin of Valparaiso University, husband and father of four, was diagnosed with cancer. This book is a collection of letters he wrote to family and friends over about a two year period. Through these letters the reader journeys with him through hope, fear, suffering, love, faith and infirmity.
A caregiver for one with cancer might get insight into some un-expressed thoughts that their loved one might be thinking. He eloquently reflects on end of life issues and what it means to live and die well. The reader joins Walter Wangerin through the many procedures and many doctors that take a toll on his body and mood swings. His Biblical understanding of being called and named by Christ gives meaning to his life here and in the hereafter. This is a book about facing mortality. Letter #19 is more of a Bible study put in letter form to one of his students and a worthwhile read.
Professor Wangerin is my age. We are both adoptive parents. He wrote a book with Matthew, one of his adopted sons, called, “Father & Son, Finding Freedom.” This second book (of many he has written) was published the year following the letters written from the land of cancer. Cancer is difficult. But I picture healing and blessings coming in the midst of difficult times.
We have never met, but we share a common savior. I am happy to report that he is scheduled to preach at the Valpo chapel this Sunday, Feb. 3, 2013.
I highly recommend all his books, this one especially for one caring for a loved one with cancer.
by Walter Wangerin, Jr
2010 Zondervan
Grand Rapids, Mi.
On December 26, 2005 Professor and Pastor Wangerin of Valparaiso University, husband and father of four, was diagnosed with cancer. This book is a collection of letters he wrote to family and friends over about a two year period. Through these letters the reader journeys with him through hope, fear, suffering, love, faith and infirmity.
A caregiver for one with cancer might get insight into some un-expressed thoughts that their loved one might be thinking. He eloquently reflects on end of life issues and what it means to live and die well. The reader joins Walter Wangerin through the many procedures and many doctors that take a toll on his body and mood swings. His Biblical understanding of being called and named by Christ gives meaning to his life here and in the hereafter. This is a book about facing mortality. Letter #19 is more of a Bible study put in letter form to one of his students and a worthwhile read.
Professor Wangerin is my age. We are both adoptive parents. He wrote a book with Matthew, one of his adopted sons, called, “Father & Son, Finding Freedom.” This second book (of many he has written) was published the year following the letters written from the land of cancer. Cancer is difficult. But I picture healing and blessings coming in the midst of difficult times.
We have never met, but we share a common savior. I am happy to report that he is scheduled to preach at the Valpo chapel this Sunday, Feb. 3, 2013.
I highly recommend all his books, this one especially for one caring for a loved one with cancer.
May I Walk You Home
Sharing Christ’s Love With the Dying
by Melody Rossi
2007 Bethany House Publishers
What a helpful and inspirational book for families and caregivers supporting someone who is dying without a relationship with Jesus Christ. Melody’s mother, father and step-mother were either hostile to Christianity or not interested in faith. Over a short period of time all three died and Melody was their caregiver. Through her love and service, each of these people became open to talking about God and ultimately to faith. This journey is not just a story of faith sharing, but an example of good Christian caring. She says, “There is nothing that will melt away disbelief faster or more efficiently than plain, ordinary, utilitarian, rubber-meets-the-road serving.” She lists 22 question to find you path to service.
Melody includes very practical information in organizing and using emergency information. She suggests finding you support people to help you deal with stress and personal helps. You may discover a spiritual warfare as you seek to speak of spiritual truths and she guides the reader through helpful scriptures. Her description of the signs that death is close can help with our fear as death approaches. I experienced the same awe and wonder (holy time) at the moment of death with my mother. She concludes the book with what to do after the death and the importance of grieving.
If you are a Christian this is a must read, not only to serve to an unbelieving family member, but to find resources in facing the death experience with someone you love.
Sharing Christ’s Love With the Dying
by Melody Rossi
2007 Bethany House Publishers
What a helpful and inspirational book for families and caregivers supporting someone who is dying without a relationship with Jesus Christ. Melody’s mother, father and step-mother were either hostile to Christianity or not interested in faith. Over a short period of time all three died and Melody was their caregiver. Through her love and service, each of these people became open to talking about God and ultimately to faith. This journey is not just a story of faith sharing, but an example of good Christian caring. She says, “There is nothing that will melt away disbelief faster or more efficiently than plain, ordinary, utilitarian, rubber-meets-the-road serving.” She lists 22 question to find you path to service.
Melody includes very practical information in organizing and using emergency information. She suggests finding you support people to help you deal with stress and personal helps. You may discover a spiritual warfare as you seek to speak of spiritual truths and she guides the reader through helpful scriptures. Her description of the signs that death is close can help with our fear as death approaches. I experienced the same awe and wonder (holy time) at the moment of death with my mother. She concludes the book with what to do after the death and the importance of grieving.
If you are a Christian this is a must read, not only to serve to an unbelieving family member, but to find resources in facing the death experience with someone you love.
Love in the Land of Dementia
Finding Hope in the Caregiver’s Journey
by Deborah Shouse
2006 Creativity Connection Press
613 W. 61 St
Kansas City, MO 64113
www.thecreativityconnection.com
This is Deborah’s story of caring for her mother who making the journey into the land of Dementia. I made this same journey with my mother. Reading her book I laughed and cried as I remembered my mother. She talks about the progressive changes both physically and relationally that needed to be grieved by her, her dad, brother and her mother. Deborah’s dad lived with her through many of these experiences. But she lost him before she lost her mother.
As the dementia progresses Deborah described the efforts she makes to try to connect. Some are silly. I recall doing the same thing with my mother. She describes helping her mother move past anxiety, anger and confusion and find a smile of happiness to share becomes priceless. Working to stay connected is important.
The family celebrated their Jewish faith and customs. I respect putting faith into practice as she tells her story.
I can highly recommend this book as a helpful story to anyone moving through the land of Dementia and Alzheimer disease with a loved one. The behavior changes, moods, dis-connect and humorous situations are not unique to this book, but those changes are very well described by Deborah Shouse.
Finding Hope in the Caregiver’s Journey
by Deborah Shouse
2006 Creativity Connection Press
613 W. 61 St
Kansas City, MO 64113
www.thecreativityconnection.com
This is Deborah’s story of caring for her mother who making the journey into the land of Dementia. I made this same journey with my mother. Reading her book I laughed and cried as I remembered my mother. She talks about the progressive changes both physically and relationally that needed to be grieved by her, her dad, brother and her mother. Deborah’s dad lived with her through many of these experiences. But she lost him before she lost her mother.
As the dementia progresses Deborah described the efforts she makes to try to connect. Some are silly. I recall doing the same thing with my mother. She describes helping her mother move past anxiety, anger and confusion and find a smile of happiness to share becomes priceless. Working to stay connected is important.
The family celebrated their Jewish faith and customs. I respect putting faith into practice as she tells her story.
I can highly recommend this book as a helpful story to anyone moving through the land of Dementia and Alzheimer disease with a loved one. The behavior changes, moods, dis-connect and humorous situations are not unique to this book, but those changes are very well described by Deborah Shouse.
Joy Boosters
120 Ways to Encourage Older Adults
Missy Buchanan
2012 Upper Room Books
How do you put a smile on their face? How can you cheer up someone experiencing an unwanted move? How can you encourage an elderly man who must put his wife in memory care? How can you make the most of a visit with an elderly person?
These are the question Missy responds to in her helpful book. She has 120 thought provoking suggestions that children and grandchildren can adapt to their situation. She begins with discussion starters (especially helpful for grandchildren) to learn more about the past of their parent or grandparent. I know my mom loved to tell the story about how she met my dad and what her childhood was like. Missy has suggestions on what church members might do if the “adopt” someone to visit at home or in a facility. She has suggestions for making a move into a facility a blessing time. If your loved one is a distance away, Missy make suggestions in keeping a relationship active. Perhaps your loved one would appreciate a special photographic treat. Trips, music, hobbies or any “doing it together” time help you to honor your loved one. Laughter and holiday celebration build great memories to hold in your heart. Missy’s suggestion cover a broad range of possibilities to make time intentional. Perhaps there are ideas that can help you.
Missy Buchanan co-authored the book My Story, My Song with Robin Roberts of Good Morning America. Author of several other books, Missy also writes a monthly column for the United Methodist Reporter, as well as Presbyterians Today, Mature Years, Mature Living and MinistryMatters.com.
120 Ways to Encourage Older Adults
Missy Buchanan
2012 Upper Room Books
How do you put a smile on their face? How can you cheer up someone experiencing an unwanted move? How can you encourage an elderly man who must put his wife in memory care? How can you make the most of a visit with an elderly person?
These are the question Missy responds to in her helpful book. She has 120 thought provoking suggestions that children and grandchildren can adapt to their situation. She begins with discussion starters (especially helpful for grandchildren) to learn more about the past of their parent or grandparent. I know my mom loved to tell the story about how she met my dad and what her childhood was like. Missy has suggestions on what church members might do if the “adopt” someone to visit at home or in a facility. She has suggestions for making a move into a facility a blessing time. If your loved one is a distance away, Missy make suggestions in keeping a relationship active. Perhaps your loved one would appreciate a special photographic treat. Trips, music, hobbies or any “doing it together” time help you to honor your loved one. Laughter and holiday celebration build great memories to hold in your heart. Missy’s suggestion cover a broad range of possibilities to make time intentional. Perhaps there are ideas that can help you.
Missy Buchanan co-authored the book My Story, My Song with Robin Roberts of Good Morning America. Author of several other books, Missy also writes a monthly column for the United Methodist Reporter, as well as Presbyterians Today, Mature Years, Mature Living and MinistryMatters.com.
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